Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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