Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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