is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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