yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
