what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
one might say we're banned from that church
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
