you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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