I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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