like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
