Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
