everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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