I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
