11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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