I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When are your genitals available?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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