yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
