P.S. I can't hear my feet
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
