Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
