I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
