thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
