Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
