guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
