you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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