that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
