How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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