Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
