No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
