My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
