you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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