oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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