he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
