Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
