Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
