there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
