Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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