so that wasnt chicken after all
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
porn star boner night. come get it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
