all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
