doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
