peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
