Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
