I need help removing her.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
