Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
