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• (619): View more from California

  Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

  (323): View more from California

  How mad was your dog?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I had him autograph the condom wrapper.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I was told my cock was a religious experience.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..

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• (315): View more from New York

  HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice

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• (516): View more from New York

  If u could sum last night up in one word?

  (315): View more from New York

  omgwtfpineapple

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