you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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