you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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