so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
