I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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