Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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