I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
