I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
