a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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