think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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