I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
