living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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